Explaining the downfall

Even though I watched almost every game this year on television, I didn't go to any of the games, even though I am a season's ticket holder. I sold the entire lot of tickets last summer to a guy on Craigslist. Because I sold them for the exact same price that I paid -- he thought it might be a scam. But when we met and I demonstrated what a reputable person I was, he wrote me a check.

Perhaps this is what lead to the Ravens' downfall -- the failure of a fan to make good on his promise of loyalty by attending all the home games. Or perhaps it was because I declined to purchase playoff tickets. You see, as a season's ticket holder, the Ravens try to pressure you into buying playoff tickets before there is a guarantee that there will be a home playoff game. For instance, when it looked likely that the Ravens would make the playoffs (we had not beaten Cleveland yet) the Ravens tried to get me to buy all kinds of tickets. The problem is -- if there is no home playoff game, the money goes toward next year's tickets and you forfeit the "service charge," whatever that means.

So I balked. I didn't think we'd have a playoff game so I didn't buy them. Then, when it came down to us beating the Stealers and the Jerks beating the Cheatriots in order to ensure a home playoff game, I was presented with a second offer. Again, I declined, permitting the rights to a possible playoff game to drift endlessly into cyberspace.

Is this why the Ravens lost? Is it because I didn't have faith that they would return home like Homer and vanquish the Jerks in front of 70,000 screaming fans? I never thought the Cheatriots would lose to a team whose (1) coach produces foot fetish videos; (2) likes to sexually harass latina TV reporters; (3) trips up players running down the field; and (4) has a former quarterback who sends text messages containing pix of his doodool. This is why I didn't believe there would be a playoff game. Not because I didn't think we could beat a team whose quarterback has twice been alleged to have sexually assaulted women. Not because of that!

But alas, the Ravens' second Superbowl win in ten years was not meant to be. And the Stealers, led by the quarterback who was twice been accused of sexual assault, may very well take the ultimate prize once again. Why? Because I passed on the playoff tickets? Because I didn't personally attend any home games? No! Because, I blew it!

Why?

January 15, 2011. This was a horrible day but, as usual, I have only myself to blame. I actually did not watch most of the game, choosing instead to have dinner out with friends at Bistrot Lepic, a wonderful Georgetown restaurant. We sat upstairs, which is more casual than below and I had the flounder with lobster sauce preceded by a fresh homemade pate. In fact, as we entered the restaurant, it was hazy with smoke because the pate had just been made.

Our reservation was for 5:30 so I did manage to see the Ravens go up 14-7 on that sensational touchdown resulting from a sexual assault suspect's fumble. That gave me hope that the Ravens would finally pull off the...dare I say it...the -- "impossible" by beating the Stealers in the playoffs.

Dinner was enjoyable. My friend Tom gave me periodic updates from his Android, informing me that the Ravens were up 21-7 ("You're toying with me, Tom," I would say, questioning his veracity.) However, as dessert was served, the commanding lead evaporated as the Ravens did something they haven't done all year -- give up touchdowns in the third quarter.

As we got into the car to drive back home, I listened to Gerry Sandusky announce that the Ravens had tied the score with a field goal, thus giving the Stealers more than three minutes to win it all. Though Gerry spoke as if fate ensured a close game, I could feel the pit in my stomach starting to expand and no, it was not the pate.

When I arrived home, however, there was a ray of hope. At 3rd and 19 (the sexual assault suspect had just been sacked), there was plenty of reason to believe that the score would at least remain tied. Then -- excuse me, I need a moment. Then -- it happened! One of those moments that Joe Flacco can only dream about. A clutch pass all the way down the field to a receiver who had outrun his defender. First down and goal to go. And it was all my fault. Why? Read on.

Blame me, not the Ravens.

The Baltimore Ravens are the best football team in the history of the world. When they lose, it is not because they failed in some way -- it's because I failed them. This blog is dedicated to that principle.